Monday, January 17, 2011

LIPC plasma cheerios, & a death in the family

what does energy research in aneutronic spheromaks have to do with ones belief systems?
everything, but why?

I was working trying to pull together a plasma research company (plasma gasification, LIPC D.E. research, & what happens when you make Cheerios of 4th state of matter laced with deuterium &/or boron then put them together.).
but several tragedies brought that to a screeching halt.
It left me disillusioned,  the physics worked, the experiments worked, but the people din't, F^(K1NG Greed & egos.

so I started thinking, it's what I am good at.
But the more i thought, the more I realized there may not necessarily be an answer why $H!T fell apart.
absurdism at it's best.

most of the thinkers I know take the stance of  self assembly of the universe, a safe nonanthropomorphic version of  God, which i could accept, as that view fits into the equations quite easily.

while I have been wallowing in the agony of my humiliations in the research biz,

My grandmother died

I had not been able to speak with my grandmother because of an estrangement in my mom's family.

but the experience did something contrary, to the bereaving experience.

I gained faith, not the fanatical-zealot version of it.
but in what I was working on, something altered my frame of mind.

gave me a new found vigor, to complete what i had started,

It makes one think about memes & the power they exert over one's life.

& understanding why people try to anthropomorphize them.

In our hypersane existence.